Relationships

Hindi article on restlessness by AP

Love would have helped you fly. And now you have captivated love within four walls. As wise men and women, if you are married, wonderful. As wise men and women, if you are not married, wonderful. The point is not really marriage. The point is wisdom. https://dev-main8.vedant.life/en/articles/marriage-and-love-1_0ff5cad

In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex—good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time, or both, and then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?

If you take yourself as primarily physical, then beauty too for you would be something just physical. You will look at the woman most capable of successfully reproducing. That’s the prakritik definition of beauty.

The first thing that comes to mind is flowers. What are flowers? Flowers are the reproductive…

In fact, if there is one unpardonable crime, it is bad parenting. You are not even killing someone, you are disfiguring someone and sentencing him to live an entire life. How does that sound? It’s like chopping off somebody’s limbs but ensuring that he lives—and he lives an entire life…

She won’t directly say, “Get me a sari.” Often when they need a sari, they do not say they need a sari; they say, “Janu (beloved), you do not love me!” And janu understands: she needs a sari.

Similarly, janu does not need to say…

The evil can consume you in two ways. One is, you look at evil and you find it beautiful. Some people do; they are captivated by the sheer charm of evil. Aren’t the dons in the movies sometimes very charming? In fact, the most charming characters in the movies in…

Hold on. There will be temptations; old habits, old environments will beckon you, but stand still and strong. Don’t give up. It’s a battle worth fighting and worth winning. Don’t lose this one.

If you can win this one, then in all the forthcoming battles of life victory is guaranteed.…

A fellow who irritates you and keeps your mind agitated, why is he present in your life as a friend? How exactly is he taking care of you if his presence leads to an unsettled mind? What are these tags?

The only definition of a friend is someone who brings…

You did not do what you should have done for yourself; therefore you now expect somebody else to do good things for you.

The responsibility to bring goodness to your life rests primarily upon you, not upon somebody else. To bring somebody to life and then expect that somebody to…

Only in aloneness can you have relationships that are not exploitative. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what name, what color you give to your relationship; your relationship will be definitely one of exploitation.

If a woman is good and fine, then her lover or husband would spoil her. Women must be honored for her intelligence, her qualities, for her inner strength. But when you start giving her importance for reasons like, her body is attractive and she is very sexually appealing, then you…

The problem is, the usual feminism always proceeds keeping the man at the center. The woman is saying, “The man is alright, and I want to be like the man.” This is such a low standard to set. Whereas, true feminism would proceed keeping the person that the female is,…

Women like burly guys—and why do they like burly, big, and muscular guys? Because they are likely to have higher levels of testosterone. Unless you have testosterone, you cannot build muscles; you know that, right? And that is why you cannot build muscles, let’s say, after fifty or sixty. It’s…

You never want the other person; you want returns from the other person.

When those returns are not forthcoming, have you seen how you shout, how you go breathless, how you panic, how you stamp your feet, how you pull the other’s hair, how you pull out your own hair?…

Life is decided by no factor stronger than the company and the environment you give yourself. So be careful. Be careful about the people you meet, be careful about the stuff you read, be careful about what you eat, be careful about what you are seeing, what you are hearing.…

When the woman is fighting the man or vice versa, then it becomes very immaterial to both of them what is happening to the child. In the process of winning that petty battle, what is happening to the kid becomes insignificant. Not only is the kid in bad company, he…

If you start thinking that a man or a woman will bring contentment to you, will bring godliness to your home, then you are going to be severely disappointed.

And that’s why you see disappointed couples. The man was living a forlorn life. The woman was living a spineless life,…

You already have enough troubles, right? We don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you? But yes, if someone can bring joy and Truth to you, invite them right into your heart, and then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry—wonderful! You…

Does a kid realize why he is being attracted to the butterfly, to the toy, to the rainbow, to the mother’s breast, to anything? Does the kid realize? Like an animal he is just pulled along by his deep tendencies. He is an animal, and that is why education is…

When a great scientist, or a devoted politician, or a committed author decides to remain unmarried, it is wonderful. But only then. First of all, figure out something great to be immersed and absorbed in. If you can figure that out, then you get the licence to remain unmarried. Only…

See what the presence of other people is doing to you. Obviously, when you are with a sexual partner, then the power and the influence are magnified manifold. But even if the one you are with is not your husband or wife or sexual partner, even if that person is…

Keep fighting. Keep fighting till your victory, and keep fighting in your defeat. The second part is more important. Keep fighting even when you have been beaten down. Keep fighting even when yours looks like a hopeless cause, a lost battle. Don’t just start wallowing in self-pity and self-abuse. “Oh!…

Men and women are different; their biologies make them different. But what we have is a hyper genderization, a hyper sexualization. The differences are there, but little. Society has hyper-inflated those differences. The woman has been turned into a hyper-woman, and the man has been turned into a hyper-man. And…

Take care of yourself, and you have taken care of the kids. When the kids see a radiant mother, a radiant father, their darkness disappears. Be first of all concerned about discovering your own radiance. If you have nothing but darkness, all that your kids would get from you is…

If the kid has observed half an hour of a fight at home, then he has probably absorbed more than what he would usually absorb in a week’s time. The fights are usually not in the service of divine matters, are they? You fight for the sake of money, or…

I have nothing against marriage. I have a lot to do with the mind of man. The mind that rushes towards security, the mind that wants to possess and hold captive another living being, I want to talk of that mind.

Marriage will decide the kind of work that you…

Why do you want commitment? Because not only do you want to have sex, you want an uninterrupted and guaranteed supply of sex; that is what you call as commitment.

“Not only should you be with me for one night; assure me that I will find you on the bed…

Nobody is obliged to live as per your fancies. Are you able to fulfill your own expectations? And if even you cannot meet your self-image, how is the poor wife or husband going to live up to what you expect from him or her? If you think that it is…

लड़का-लड़की पंद्रह साल के हुए नहीं कि माँ-बाप बन सकते हैं, फिर? बहुत अक्ल आ जाएगी उनमें? और फिर जो बच्चा पैदा हो उसको सिखाएँ कि, “यह देवी-देवता हैं, हमने पैदा किया है।“ वह देवी-देवता ने नहीं पैदा किया है, वह पैदा इसलिए हो गया था क्योंकि देवी जी बहकी…

बहुत लोग मिलेंगे कहेंगे, "अरे, अरे! बहुत बड़ी बातें मत करो, हमें समझ में नहीं आती हैं। यह तुम क्या गीता उपनिषद् लेकर बैठ जाते हो, भइया! हम बड़े सीधे, सरल आदमी हैं, हमें यह सब बातें समझ में नहीं आती; आलू, टिंडा बताओ न?"

जो कोई तुमसे यह बोले…

False love is very lucrative, very charming. Oh, there is such a romance around it! But then, that romance is hardly love.

Real love tests. Real love stretches, breaks. Real love is like a sculptor carving a beautiful one out of an unseemly rock. The rock must go through and…

तो शादी से पहले तो तुम ख़ुद ही सच्चाई को पर्दे में रखते हो। तुम ख़ुद ही एक दूसरे के सामने सभ्यता का, शालीनता का, भलाई का मुखौटा पहन कर बैठते हो। “नहीं, नहीं तुम बैठो! पॉपकॉर्न मैं ले आता हूँ।“

“नहीं, नहीं तुम क्यों खर्च करोगी, मैं कर रहा…

यह एक बड़ा भ्रम कि जल्दी से शादी कर लो और शादी करने से दूसरा व्यक्ति ज़िम्मेदार हो जाएगा। जो माँ-बाप कहते हैं, “ये बड़ा उद्दण्ड है, लड्डू। गाँव भर में लुढ़कते फिरता है लड्डू। तो लड्डू को ज़िम्मेदार बनाने के लिए लड्डू की शादी कर देते हैं।” घर में…

सुबह उठते ही, "जानू उठ गई? जानू टट्टी कर ली, ब्रश कर लिया? नाश्ते में क्या खा रही हो? क्यों खा रही हो? खा ही क्यों रही हो, पी क्यों नहीं रही? जानू पैरों से चल रही हो? सर के बल क्यों नहीं चल रही?"

अभी हॉट है मामला भई!…

यह जगत तो लाभ का सौदागर है। वो आप से नहीं प्रेम करता; आपसे जो मिल रहा है उसे से प्रेम करता है। और इस बात का बड़ा कड़वा अनुभव आपको तब होता है जब आप देना बंद कर देते हैं। आप तो यही सोचते रह गए कि उस व्यक्ति…

लड़के अगर बेरोज़गार हों और शादी के लिए लालायित हो जाएँ तो तुम कहोगे, “छी! कमाता ना धमामा, शादी करने चला है!”

और लड़कियों से यह बात तुम बोलते नहीं। क्योंकि लड़कियाँ तो गाय हैं, उन्हें कमाना-धमाना थोड़े ही है। उन्हें तो घर में बैठकर बछड़े जनने हैं।

जब बहन…

हार मोतियों का हज़ार बार भी टूटेगा तो उसे तुम हज़ार बार जोड़ोगे, बार-बार जोड़ो! सुजन अगर रूठ जाएँ, तो बार-बार मनाओ क्योंकि उनसे प्यास बुझती है।

पर जिससे प्यास बुझती ना हो, उससे बस आदतवश जुड़े हो, भ्रमवश, धारणावश जुड़े हो, इसलिए जुड़े हो कि बीस साल से जुड़े…

कहते हैं, “हमारे घर में बहुत खुला हुआ माहौल है। मैं तो अपने चौदह साल के लड़के के साथ बैठ कर ड्रिंक करता हूँ। बहुत लिबरल माहौल है हमारे घर का।“

ये लिबरल माहौल है या नरक का माहौल है? नरक और कौन-सी जगह होती है? वही तो जहाँ बाप…

You do not need to wait for your encounters with women to know whether or not you are sexually motivated. Just see whether leather seats attract you. Just see whether furniture and garments and carpets and upholstery and wall-hangings and curtains and sofa sets attract you. Just see whether you…

लड़की होगी वो चाहे गुड़गाँव में काम कर रही हो, चाहे बंबई में, चाहे बेंगलुरु में, उसकी दो ज़िंदगियाँ होती हैं। एक जो दफ्तर में होती है, दफ्तर में हो सकता है मैनेजर हो, पंद्रह लोग उसको रिपोर्ट करते हों, पंद्रह लोग उसके अधीनस्थ हों। और वहाँ पर वो एक…

“Why am I with someone?” That question has to be asked. If that question has been honestly asked and reasonably answered, then you cannot go wrong, whether you marry or not, whether you remain with someone or not.

And mind you, these are not really permanent decisions to be made.…

A woman is not allowed to work after marriage—nobody cares. It doesn’t make headlines at all.

A woman has unsafe work environment—doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make headlines.

A woman dies during childbirth—who bothers?

जो भी लोग अपने बच्चों को ये तर्क देते हों कि, “हम बताएँगे तुमको, हमने ज़िंदगी देखी है”, उन्हें तो सबसे पहले अस्पतालों में दाखिला नहीं मिलना चाहिए। बाहर लगा होना चाहिए, ‘जिन्होंने ज़िंदगी देखी हो वो अपना उपचार ख़ुद ही कर लें।‘ भाई तुम तो ज़िंदगी देख-देख कर ही…

ऐसा तो नहीं है कि दस-बारह साल के बच्चे को अगर आप रामकृष्ण की बोध कथाएँ पढ़ाएँगे तो उसे समझ में नहीं आने वाली। आएँगी न। आपके घरों में क्यों नहीं है रामकृष्ण परमहंस की सरल साधारण कथाओं की किताब? कृष्णमूर्ति साहब का साहित्य आता है ‘*कृष्णमूर्ति फॉर द यंग*’।…

किसी भी आम लड़के से पूछ लो वो किसलिए विवाह करता है; सम्मानजनक काम करने के लिए तो वो भी विवाह करता नहीं, काम वह सारे ऐसे ही करता है जो विवाह के बिना करदे तो तुम कहोगे 'ज़लील, लुच्चे, लफ़ंगे! गायब हो जा यहाँ से!'

तो तुम जो अपना…

When you are speaking to a friend, do you need confidence? You don’t need confidence in the everyday situations at your home or with your friends. But in the interview room everybody says, “I need confidence,” right?

When do you need confidence? When does the question of confidence arise? The…

प्रश्नकर्ता: सर, लोग दहेज क्यों लेते हैं?

आचार्य प्रशांत: कोई किसी का साथ पैसे लेकर के करेगा तो मैं कैसे बोलूँ इस पर? मैं मुश्किल पाता हूँ इस बात को कल्पित करना, उस आदमी की शक्ल को चित्रित करना जो कह रहा है कि, “मैं किसी के साथ हो सकता…