Relationships

Love would have helped you fly. And now you have captivated love within four walls. As wise men and women, if you are married, wonderful. As wise men and women, if you are not married, wonderful. The point is not really marriage. The point is wisdom. https://dev-main8.vedant.life/en/articles/marriage-and-love-1_0ff5cad

In our country, most people marry because that is sometimes the only way of getting some good sex—good and assured sex. Otherwise, the fellow would either have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time, or both, and then still return empty-handed. Isn’t that so?

If you take yourself as primarily physical, then beauty too for you would be something just physical. You will look at the woman most capable of successfully reproducing. That’s the prakritik definition of beauty.

The first thing that comes to mind is flowers. What are flowers? Flowers are the reproductive…

In fact, if there is one unpardonable crime, it is bad parenting. You are not even killing someone, you are disfiguring someone and sentencing him to live an entire life. How does that sound? It’s like chopping off somebody’s limbs but ensuring that he lives—and he lives an entire life…

She won’t directly say, “Get me a sari.” Often when they need a sari, they do not say they need a sari; they say, “Janu (beloved), you do not love me!” And janu understands: she needs a sari.

Similarly, janu does not need to say…

The evil can consume you in two ways. One is, you look at evil and you find it beautiful. Some people do; they are captivated by the sheer charm of evil. Aren’t the dons in the movies sometimes very charming? In fact, the most charming characters in the movies in…

Hold on. There will be temptations; old habits, old environments will beckon you, but stand still and strong. Don’t give up. It’s a battle worth fighting and worth winning. Don’t lose this one.

If you can win this one, then in all the forthcoming battles of life victory is guaranteed.…

A fellow who irritates you and keeps your mind agitated, why is he present in your life as a friend? How exactly is he taking care of you if his presence leads to an unsettled mind? What are these tags?

The only definition of a friend is someone who brings…

You did not do what you should have done for yourself; therefore you now expect somebody else to do good things for you.

The responsibility to bring goodness to your life rests primarily upon you, not upon somebody else. To bring somebody to life and then expect that somebody to…

Only in aloneness can you have relationships that are not exploitative. Otherwise, it doesn’t matter what name, what color you give to your relationship; your relationship will be definitely one of exploitation.

If a woman is good and fine, then her lover or husband would spoil her. Women must be honored for her intelligence, her qualities, for her inner strength. But when you start giving her importance for reasons like, her body is attractive and she is very sexually appealing, then you…

The problem is, the usual feminism always proceeds keeping the man at the center. The woman is saying, “The man is alright, and I want to be like the man.” This is such a low standard to set. Whereas, true feminism would proceed keeping the person that the female is,…

Women like burly guys—and why do they like burly, big, and muscular guys? Because they are likely to have higher levels of testosterone. Unless you have testosterone, you cannot build muscles; you know that, right? And that is why you cannot build muscles, let’s say, after fifty or sixty. It’s…

You never want the other person; you want returns from the other person.

When those returns are not forthcoming, have you seen how you shout, how you go breathless, how you panic, how you stamp your feet, how you pull the other’s hair, how you pull out your own hair?…

Life is decided by no factor stronger than the company and the environment you give yourself. So be careful. Be careful about the people you meet, be careful about the stuff you read, be careful about what you eat, be careful about what you are seeing, what you are hearing.…

When the woman is fighting the man or vice versa, then it becomes very immaterial to both of them what is happening to the child. In the process of winning that petty battle, what is happening to the kid becomes insignificant. Not only is the kid in bad company, he…

If you start thinking that a man or a woman will bring contentment to you, will bring godliness to your home, then you are going to be severely disappointed.

And that’s why you see disappointed couples. The man was living a forlorn life. The woman was living a spineless life,…

You already have enough troubles, right? We don’t want to invite another trouble into your house, into your bedroom, do you? But yes, if someone can bring joy and Truth to you, invite them right into your heart, and then marriage is inconsequential. With the right person, you marry—wonderful! You…

Does a kid realize why he is being attracted to the butterfly, to the toy, to the rainbow, to the mother’s breast, to anything? Does the kid realize? Like an animal he is just pulled along by his deep tendencies. He is an animal, and that is why education is…

When a great scientist, or a devoted politician, or a committed author decides to remain unmarried, it is wonderful. But only then. First of all, figure out something great to be immersed and absorbed in. If you can figure that out, then you get the licence to remain unmarried. Only…

See what the presence of other people is doing to you. Obviously, when you are with a sexual partner, then the power and the influence are magnified manifold. But even if the one you are with is not your husband or wife or sexual partner, even if that person is…

Keep fighting. Keep fighting till your victory, and keep fighting in your defeat. The second part is more important. Keep fighting even when you have been beaten down. Keep fighting even when yours looks like a hopeless cause, a lost battle. Don’t just start wallowing in self-pity and self-abuse. “Oh!…

Men and women are different; their biologies make them different. But what we have is a hyper genderization, a hyper sexualization. The differences are there, but little. Society has hyper-inflated those differences. The woman has been turned into a hyper-woman, and the man has been turned into a hyper-man. And…

Take care of yourself, and you have taken care of the kids. When the kids see a radiant mother, a radiant father, their darkness disappears. Be first of all concerned about discovering your own radiance. If you have nothing but darkness, all that your kids would get from you is…

If the kid has observed half an hour of a fight at home, then he has probably absorbed more than what he would usually absorb in a week’s time. The fights are usually not in the service of divine matters, are they? You fight for the sake of money, or…

I have nothing against marriage. I have a lot to do with the mind of man. The mind that rushes towards security, the mind that wants to possess and hold captive another living being, I want to talk of that mind.

Marriage will decide the kind of work that you…

Why do you want commitment? Because not only do you want to have sex, you want an uninterrupted and guaranteed supply of sex; that is what you call as commitment.

“Not only should you be with me for one night; assure me that I will find you on the bed…

Nobody is obliged to live as per your fancies. Are you able to fulfill your own expectations? And if even you cannot meet your self-image, how is the poor wife or husband going to live up to what you expect from him or her? If you think that it is…

False love is very lucrative, very charming. Oh, there is such a romance around it! But then, that romance is hardly love.

Real love tests. Real love stretches, breaks. Real love is like a sculptor carving a beautiful one out of an unseemly rock. The rock must go through and…

You do not need to wait for your encounters with women to know whether or not you are sexually motivated. Just see whether leather seats attract you. Just see whether furniture and garments and carpets and upholstery and wall-hangings and curtains and sofa sets attract you. Just see whether you…

“Why am I with someone?” That question has to be asked. If that question has been honestly asked and reasonably answered, then you cannot go wrong, whether you marry or not, whether you remain with someone or not.

And mind you, these are not really permanent decisions to be made.…

A woman is not allowed to work after marriage—nobody cares. It doesn’t make headlines at all.

A woman has unsafe work environment—doesn’t matter. It doesn’t make headlines.

A woman dies during childbirth—who bothers?

When you are speaking to a friend, do you need confidence? You don’t need confidence in the everyday situations at your home or with your friends. But in the interview room everybody says, “I need confidence,” right?

When do you need confidence? When does the question of confidence arise? The…

Companionship is wonderful. Be with one person, ten persons, anybody who helps your mind be centered. Being with such a person or a group of persons is wonderful.

If marriage is another name for beautiful companionship, marriage is wonderful. But what matters is not the social institution of marriage but…

If the kid has observed half an hour of a fight at home, then he has probably absorbed more than what he would usually absorb in a week’s time. The fights are usually not in the service of divine matters, are they? You fight for the sake of money, or…

The quality of your love depends on the quality of your life. Your love affair cannot be a sublime thing if your life is mired in littleness.

We all want our love affairs to be fairytales, and we don’t look at our lives. We are little people—afraid, desirous, ambitious, suspicious.…

If a drunkard were to use the law of attraction, what would he deem suitable to attract to himself? A huge truckload of beer. He would keep fantasizing of beer companies and such things, and maybe that materializes also. And if that materializes, it is even worse for the drunkard,…

Do you never wonder that, in spite of being told all these so-called virtuous things in childhood, from where do these criminals come? After all, every criminal was a child once, and every child is told of all these so-called moral and immoral things. Then why do people grow up…

Your parents don’t want you to speak, your teachers don’t want you to speak, and religious preachers, obviously, they are very afraid if you speak up. So you don’t ask even the most basic, logical, sensible questions, and you keep accepting even the most amusing kind of trash as if…

A fellow might be doing the worst possible thing to you in the name of love or concern or friendship, and he will keep saying, “But you know, this is my care towards you.” This is not care. You must apply intelligence. Is this love? Is this care? When you…

You do not really care about the expectations that, let’s say, the entire humanity has from you. It is bitterly cold and a dog is outside your doorsteps; you do not wonder about the expectations that that dog might be having. It is only the expectations of a particular four…

It is not so much about attracting somebody beautiful to yourself or about obtaining a beautiful mate in your life. It is more about knowing what beauty really is. Depending on your definition of beauty, you will choose your relationships, you will choose everything in life. Because life, in one…

When the woman is not in front of you, do you keep fantasizing about her all the time? This is mental illness. Only if you are indulging in all kinds of sexual fantasies and inner perversion will you jump upon her at the first sight. Otherwise, there is hardly anything…

You defeat someone not because he is weak; you defeat someone when he wants to protect his weaknesses. Understand the difference. It is not your weaknesses that defeat you; it is your fondness towards your weaknesses, your protective attitude towards your weaknesses that defeats you.

If you are prepared to…

Even if you get married, what do you do? You bring a man or a woman to your house, or you move to his house, sharing a common bed and gaining the authority to slip your hand inside somebody’s pants. Even the courts of law call that as consummation of…

If you are someone who is a serial relater—one relationship after the other or several relationships at a time, whatever, it is one and the same thing really—you must tell yourself that you really have not a physical but a spiritual urge. And therefore, you should stop your mad, nonsensical…

Is your lover enfeebling you, enslaving you, or empowering you? Ask yourself.

Somebody who limits you, cages you, mostly in the name of care, cannot be your friend, let alone lover.

Somebody who allows you to comfortably exist with your weaknesses cannot be a worthy lover.

There can be nothing worse than being saddled with, being tied to, being chained to some general unworthy person in life. That’s the worst hell you can create for yourself. Don’t do that.

If life is benevolent enough to offer you a great great companion, nothing like it. But if…

What is it that we are usually engaged in? Feeding our stomachs, and feeding the stomachs of those who are related by blood to us. That’s what our life really is: fulfill your desires and fulfill the desires of those who are related to you by blood and semen. That’s…